They say love is beautiful, as much as love is beautiful, it must be supportive because when you do not get your partners to support, you may soon become overwhelmed. Support helps in enhancing your relationship or marriage.
However, it is important to be able to apply the principles of transacting and interacting with one another without mixing it these concepts up. Knowing when to be transactional and interactional is very important in every relationship.
On several occasions, I’ve seen couples display transactional elements in their marriages. Mostly tit for tat, you rub my back only then will I rub yours too. Often time, you would hear a husband telling his wife, “dear, when you do this then I will do this also”. Then such marriages are conditional.
To be honest with you, your relationship or marriage deserves to be awesome without you transacting, so you can achieve a strong interactional relationship.
According to the oxford dictionary, a transactional relationship is stipulated as an act of relating to the conducting of business, especially buying or selling. This relates to the exchange or interaction between people.
We are in a world of business and it is expedient that we do transactions and while doing these transactions, a level of relationship is required in other to make sales and build confidence in your ability with your counterpart. Little wonder why it is believed that “your network is your net worth” as it exemplifies the true value of building relationships at all sphere.
Here are some highlighted transactional thoughts about relationship/marriage:
- What is in it for me?
- You need to understand my perspective
- Judgmental element
- Blaming attitudes
- Punishing unjustly
Business-wise a transaction is always initiated upon the rule of reciprocal. Since the olden days, the transactional relationship has been the mode of doing business until this very day, such as Political Platform, Educational Platform, Real Estate and other sectors.
And as the world advances, the transactional relationship has also experienced lots of growth in a different dimension.
When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest, never their mercy or gratitude. Isn’t it surprising when someone gives you a gift unexpectedly?According to Robert Greene in one of his book, 48 laws of power, Law 13 says:
Hey! relax you have not won a jackpot, even in free town there is no free meal. Your instincts should tell you that you are already indebted in one form or another. And in other, for you to be free from this indebtedness, you must be ready to reciprocate.
In any business that we do, the aim is to have a smooth selling platform which could either be a one-off transaction or a continuous one as the case may be. However, this is peculiar to businesses but not the institution of marriage.
Consequently, marriage or courtship can’t be a one-off interaction, and there are several scores of interaction that surfaces when it comes to marriage.
In between this interaction lies different traits of balancing things, settling scores, ensuring that every action or emotion is balanced. When you do not meet up with your partner’s satisfaction, you have become indebted to one another.
Any marriage that is based on indebtedness can brew lots of resentment leaving you with the thought of had I known, I would have done this or that.
In a happy relationship or marriage, partners find a way to share responsibility and this helps the exhibitions of true friendship and care in any relationship. However, it is not always easy to use interaction as a way to balance decisions about career, intimacy, fostering of children and other issues.
It is more important that both parties have a collaborative agreement to identify issues that requires unquestioned attention, both parties must bring on board an idea that will be beneficial for both, it helps to bind the relationship beyond just negotiation and decision.
Most time all you need to do is to be persuasive, a partner may choose to do things in a way pleasing to his or her understanding, of which you may believe that such action or decision is not necessary, talk it out smoothly by making the other party see why you believe it is not a necessity.
- Deploy a strategic approach with your partner, there will be a time that you have something bothering your mind, giving your partner a heads-up is essential.
- It is expedient to give room for thinking, reflection, and processing of thought, then both parties can create the best time to talk things out.
- Be expressive and clear about your needs and wants, there is a tendency for disagreement about each others perspective, in case there is no common ground established as to how things should be done. It is mandatory to build your conversation on how to explore the interest of each person when tied to a specific issue.
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- During an open discussion, both parties must be able to express each other’s perspective without mincing words.
- During the conversation, the importance of your perspective must be of top priority.
- Try as much as possible to avoid interruption, ensuring there is room for both of you to express your thoughts and feelings freely.
- Be free to talk about your resentments without holding back.
Above all, let there be room for a win-win platform, the beautiful outcome of this kind of conversation cannot be achieved when both parties are unwilling to practice the “unforgettable rule”.
Here we’ve outlined what you should know about the transactional relationship and how to handle it. What are your thoughts? What is your experience? Do you think a relationship should be transactional or not? drop your comment below.
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